Life transitions can be tricky, especially those that catch us by surprise.

Did something just happen in your life that came out of the blue and smacked you in the face?

Don’t get hung-up on creating the perfect plan—take messy action! Every imperfect step you take today moves you closer to your goal. It is okay to learn as you go, and celebrate progress over perfection. Your small, bold actions are the fuel that propels you forward from where you are to where you want to be.

Hi, I am Karie Batzler, an experienced Life Coach and Psychotherapist, and I have both personal and professional experience with life transitions. Whether it is an expected job layoff, loss of a loved one, or relationship breakup, I can help you navigate through the BS and pivot to harness all of that energy to move forward with some messy action.

These are 5 Early-stage Messy Action Steps that you can take to begin to find your way to the other side of whatever it was that stopped you in your tracks:

1.Do an emotional brain dump. Grab a notebook, pen, and paper (or open a folder and type it all out) and document all of the B.S. Write down all of the things that were said and done. Get those nagging thoughts and feelings on paper and out of your head! One of the keys to messy action is to cut down on the amount of rumination (obsessing about what was said/done) …it drains the energy used to fuel your messy action. Once you write all of your thoughts and feelings down, it goes a long way to helping to stop the swirl of obsessing over it. You don’t have to keep thinking about it because you have documented it in black and white.

2. Recognize that your emotions will pop up like a game of Whack-a-Mole. The feelings will surface more than once. Allow for time to scream, cry or seethe- Life transitions are about change and loss, and whether we like it or not, that includes a grieving process. Along the way, when you feel those deep feelings that arise (e.g. fury, deep sadness, regret, revenge) take a few minutes and act it out…scream in your car, write a letter/email that you will NEVER send, pull some weeds, have a sobby cry, beat the dirt out of your rugs whatever action lets you release those feels in a safe way. WARNING: Be careful NOT to take the feelings in any way that would hurt you or anyone else! These feelings are going to rise to the surface more than once; be prepared to release them in a safe way.

3. Find a buddy– It isn’t essential; however, it really helps the process if you have someone who has first-hand experience that you can talk to who is currently or has been in the same boat- someone else who has experienced a job lay off, lost a loved one, experienced a relationship break-up or divorce, had a best friend move away, etc. Having a buddy also reminds you that you are not the only person going through this transition.

4. Start a few self-soothing interventions: During the early days, do the things that you have found make you feel better, whether you downshift by spending your day in bed only getting up to get up for food and bathroom breaks or whether you launch into high gear and start training for a marathon. Self-soothing is critical, and while you are at it, sprinkle in a few self-care interventions that will feel your soul: connect with someone else- visit/call/text- it helps us to remember that life moves forward, read a great book, listen to music. It is really easy to get so focused on your problems that your self-soothing routine becomes an endless loop. Step away from it, take an occasional break from the binge-watching marathon, and let your inner groundhog stop burrowing deeper in his den. Instead, come up to see the light of day.

5. Get moving: Whether formal exercise at the gym, shooting hoops, walking around your neighborhood, or throwing a dance party in your living room…just MOVE.  If you choose to listen to something while you move, keep it positive- whether you listen to upbeat music or an interesting podcast. There is a lot of research about the healing powers of music and movement…lean into it! And while you are at it, drink a little more water, pull back a few minutes on blue-light intake…it will help you to sleep better. These changes seem simple, but they really pay off!